Confidence—it’s that elusive quality we all admire in others and wish we had in abundance. But here’s the thing: real confidence isn’t about always having the answers, exuding charisma, or breezing through life’s challenges. True confidence comes from knowing that no matter what comes your way, you have the ability to learn, adapt, and grow. It’s not something you’re born with or without—it’s something you cultivate.
I’ve seen this principle play out in my own life, whether coaching young rugby players on a chilly Sunday morning, guiding coachees through pivotal decisions, or simply finding the strength to power up (ok grind up!) another challenging climb on my bike. It’s not about perfection; it’s about growth. And the secret lies in adopting the right mindset. Ready to discover how? Let’s dive in.
The Psychology Behind Confidence
Two psychological principles are at play when it comes to building a rock-solid mindset:
- Locus of Control
This is about what you believe is—or isn’t—within your control.
- External Locus of Control: Life feels like it’s happening to you. You’re the passenger, not the driver.
- Internal Locus of Control: You believe that while life can throw curveballs, you hold the bat. You have power over your actions and outcomes.
Here’s the kicker: shifting to an internal locus of control comes down to one thing—taking action.
When you take action, even small steps, you prove to yourself that you can influence your circumstances. Over time, this develops a bias toward action. Instead of feeling stuck, you become the kind of person who does. Confidence, meet empowerment.
- The Growth Mindset
This one’s a game changer. If the locus of control gets you moving, the growth mindset keeps you thriving.
People with a growth mindset are:
- Resilient
- Better at bouncing back from failure
- Happy to tackle challenges head-on
In contrast, a fixed mindset can hold you back. It’s the belief that abilities and intelligence are static—either you have it, or you don’t. But here’s the good news: you can learn a growth mindset.
A Quick Quiz: Fixed vs. Growth Mindset
Imagine this: it’s a day from hell. You spill coffee on your shirt, get a parking ticket, and your boss isn’t thrilled with your latest work. Be honest—how do you react?
- a) You feel clumsy, unlucky, and decide the universe is out to get you.
b) You feel upset but think about solutions: better travel mug, park more carefully, double-check your work.
Now, answer this:
- Intelligence is fixed and unchangeable. Agree or disagree?
- Talents are something you’re born with. Agree or disagree?
If you mostly chose “b,” you’re leaning into a growth mindset. If not, don’t worry—you’re in the right place to change that.
Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset
Here’s the crux:
- Fixed Mindset: Effort is bad. If you’re not good at something, it means you’re not “naturally talented.” Challenges are risky because they might expose your weaknesses. Failure? Devastating.
- Growth Mindset: Effort is everything. Struggles and challenges? Opportunities to grow. Failure? A chance to learn, not a label for life.
The fixed mindset chases being “the best.” The growth mindset embraces becoming better.
Why This Matters
You don’t need to be a natural-born genius, star athlete, or entrepreneur-extraordinaire to succeed. All you need is the belief that you can grow.
Here’s the truth: intelligence, talent, skills—they’re all malleable. Every time you learn, try, fail, and try again, you’re rewriting the script of what’s possible.
Recommended Reading
If you’d like to dive deeper into these ideas, here are some excellent resources to explore:
- Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck – The definitive guide to understanding the growth mindset and how to cultivate it in your life.
- Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth – A powerful look at why effort often outshines talent in the long run.
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle – A timeless exploration of presence and taking control of your life.
- Atomic Habits by James Clear – Practical advice on building habits that support growth and confidence.
Join Me on the Journey
If this resonates, why not take the first step? Join one of my group coaching sessions or book a free one-to-one chat with me. Together, we’ll uncover the mindset shifts that can unlock your potential.
The next step is yours—and I’d love to be part of it.
Rob Fisher
Master Life Coach
rob@hurstworks.co.uk
